Wednesday's have become the highlights of my week. Why may you ask? Well let me tell you… :P Not only do I have two excellent classes today that allow me to explore what I believe and why (doctrine 2 and Non-Pauling epistles save is slept in and missed doctrine 2, I'll explain later on) but we have chapel in the evenings. The last two chapels have been really good for me. I am continually seeing my life a scale. Before it was tip all to one side. The first Wednesday, it became slightly more balanced. Last Wednesday it was completely balanced. In between last chapel and today it went back unbalanced. This chapel it went balanced and passed. What does this mean to me? Well There has been a lot of sin, attitudes and life bogging me down and keeping me from God. I let go of some of this the first Wednesday but not a lot. Last chapel I let it all go and gave it to God but that night even added right back to it. Today, despite what I'd done, God met with me again. Even though I was still on the recover line, he used me. He showed that he can use anything, anyone for good and that his grace is enough. Further from that He poured what was left of me out. This is where I was struck and shook in my very being. I had nothing left to pour out. My spiritual life has been so dry and decrepit. I tried to pour out into people and I had nothing. God showed me how empty I truly am without him and how much I need him because without him I can do nothing. What is really interesting about this is as I was going through all this and how empty I was and how I needed to be filled God provided a way. One of the student council leaders from last year got up and asked if everyone could pray for their student leaders, including me because I'm an RA. God brought me to this place of dependence and inadequacy but showed that he knew what he was doing and there was an answer. A bunch of guys gather around me and prayed for me. It wasn't so much the prayers though, they cannot rejuvenate my spirit; it was that God moved in my life and showed his presence. He met with me and provided for all I asked. God moves. That is what captures my heart and I have a longing to get into his word, to know, to speak, and to walk in His present and Holy Spirit.

Remember how I said I would explain the sleep in account, well I will not disappoint. The last couple of weeks (I think since I got back from the break) I've used my comforter without the cover because I washed it. Yes, partly due to laziness, but more due to the fact that I never think about putting it on until I was going to bed and as Ned goes to bed before me I don't want to do it then and disturb him. Anyways, the night before last I didn't sleep well and thus had it stuck and set in my mind to put the thing on. Well let's just say that restoring this extra weight and warmth I hadn't a chance in the morning. My alarm usually goes off and Ned gets up and showers and then I go and shower. This morning the alarm went off for a longer than usual but I finally woke up. Ned goes and showers (though he was slow to get up to) and after that I don't remember anything till I got up at 9:30 or so… Apparently Ned came back to the room lights on the whole time and I was out cold. Ergo I missed Doctrine 2 which is a double block in the morning starting at 8. I could have made it to the second block but I figure there wasn't a point.

From all I'm going through and all I'm learning girls are still present on my mind. Today I came to the conclusion that God has a plan for all I don't :P funny isn't it. I made the decision that I'm not going to date for a year. I will not date anyone until the spring semester next year. In addition to this I will try to keep the topic of Women off my mind as much as possible. I want to devout this year to learning and growing closure to God. This means I may have a lot less interesting blog post or none to speak of we will see. In lue of this, however, I trust God will provide something to write about each day involving him. Tomorrow is a new day and a lot will be started and concluded that I think will be beneficial. I have class in the morning then a meeting with my wing mate. After that I have a meeting my dean of Men and a man I would like to say is my mentor. Then I have group meeting for an issue I struggle with. Then I have some family time with a really good friend who I'll introduce and explain tomorrow. After all that I might have a college and careers group to go to. So I will say goodnight.

 

A Graced Struggling Stranger