Sketch…

(Reason for not posting earlier will be explained in next blog post but know for now it is due to technological issues….)

Another Beautiful day today! This week is suppose to be sunny and warm, can't wait. Well today was so nice that after class, and a movie with Ned, I decided to break out the ol' sketch book and go find something to draw. Well this led to some interesting tales and situations but I'll get to that later now that I've capture your interest. Muahaha…

History on the sketch pad: Well here comes another skeleton out from the closet. The pad was a gift; a gift for my 18th birthday party; a gift from my girlfriend (at the time). It is not from one you know and you wonder why I have never mentioned her? Well this is one who was a rebound; to me now, a non serious relationship. Jess was a rebound from Kat. She is a wonderful person but not for me. There are things I wish I could take back, I'm sure she would too. The worst was how the relationship started, I suppose for one, but not by far the last. Well in any case I think that is a story for another time as I am not in the mood to share. (Not sure why, kinda feel like I just want to get in bed, but my mind also wanders to thoughts of simply wanting to 'forget') One of the things that brought on some of the situations, were four inscriptions she had included. The first was on the underside of the cover. It was signed "praying and thinking of you always" but in addition to this it gives a brief reason for why she gave it to me. I drew a picture at convention, the same convention that we became official at. It was a nice sketch of a tree reaching out over a cliff. There was an upside down old boat beside rocks and a heart or two weaved into the tree. The 2^nd inscription is chorus from amazing grace my chains are gone. The 3^rd is a verse and a picture. The picture is of a tree and a path; on one side there is the moon and snow or rain, on the right is the sun and birds with a kite stuck in the tree; and of course there is a heart on the trunk. What's the verse? Well 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, I'll let you look it up. The Last inscription is also a verse; Psalm 150:6. "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord" Now to the situations.

While drawing the picture itself, numerous people walked by. People saw me from a distance and wondered why I was sitting where I was. I was sitting in front of the library. Naturally people passed by me, some stopped to talk for a bit and look at what I was doing others glanced and continue on their way. Some complimented me on my sketch, which sent my ego flying, and I stayed almost because of this in a sense. Interestingly enough our librarian stopped and looked and mention poetry. I said I write too and that's why I have a notepad with me case I get inspired. Well he continued and quoted one of his and it was quite good. Funny what you find out about people when you aren't expecting or looking for it. Anyways back to sketch. What was going by through my head the entire time I'm out doing this? I hope girls see me, specific girls. The one I wanted to see never did however. Even still any girls seeing me I welcomed and hoped for. Again why? (yes I seem to ask myself this question frequently I like it, I suppose I never grew out of the 'why' stage) The way I see things is the words of another women are like gold. When you show yourself to one as a good guy, sensitive and the like, the word spreads and may gain intrigue from others. In this I was successful; many girls saw me, some saw the drawing. It is sad though, to see myself like this. Even when I'm trying to avoid these thoughts my mind is plagued with them. It is too much a part of who I've become. Become or am? That's a thought I struggle with as well. On to the next 'experience' I suppose.

After sitting outside for quite awhile with my arse getting sore, fingers getting cold and some 'interest', I decided to pack it in. Instead of going to my room, instead of stowing my sketch and instead of doing the right thing, I head straight up to dinner. Why did I bring it with me, especially since my room is closure than the other building? You can guess, I could not pass up the opportunity to increase my 'points' with the gals. So I'm early, I've still got a half an hour to kill. I decide to go down to the caf anyway and see who's there. Reba's there with a few others doing work so I go and sit down. She notices the pad and asks if she can look at it. She sees the drawing and likes it but, and here is where things get interesting, she notices one of the inscriptions. She then looks throughout the rest of it and finds another one, the drawing. This provokes her to ask questions of whom she is and what the 'relation' was. I tell her and somehow it comes up about Reba's cousin (her cousin like me back where I was and is good friends with jess, they even work together) All this is not too awkward; interesting but not awkward. Not until, that is, one of the others at the table is interested. They start asking about the cousin who liked me and/or still does…

After that incident it is time for food! I'm still early so I go and line up (when the food's not quite ready we line up) and I place the sketch book down on the counter. As a student we have to show our id at every meal to a card checker. Well guess who it is, Ally. We talk a little as were still waiting for the food to be put out. She then notices the sketch pad. She asks if it's mine and I nod and I flip through it showing here the picture. (I think subconsciously I didn't want her to see the inscriptions) what does this result in? She compliments me on how talented I am since not only do I draw I write poetry to. Now a little bit of back-story here. Remember a post or two back when I posted a poem. I wrote it, but that's not the interesting part. Ally had printed the poem off and pinned it up on her wall. Not terribly weird as she had said it spoke to what she was going through. (I believe her as she is not the only one to say they connected with it in a struggling spirit kinda of way, I mean I wrote it from my own so why wouldn't it) How does this relate, well, she caught me off guard. When she was done saying how talented I was, she said maybe when I'm done drawing it she can post it on her wall too. Luckily the food was ready so I didn't reply and got my food.

After all of this I went and played soccer. This was my day. (I had more written but when my computer died I lost it and can't remember it… I am sorry)

 

A Sketchy Struggling Stranger